Not Attending Parents Funeral Reddit, If you have a good reason for not attending, don't feel guilty. Thereâ€...

Not Attending Parents Funeral Reddit, If you have a good reason for not attending, don't feel guilty. There’s no requirement but it’s in bad taste Etiquette for missing a funeral If you know you’re going to miss a funeral and still want to support the family, the good news is that there’s plenty of ways to show While attending funerals is the norm in many cultures, it is not required. If you're estranged from your parents, will you go to their funerals when they pass? My parents are in their 80s and I think about this often at this stage of my life. They loved their mom, they just saw no need to go. I saw my father after he'd been embalmed (his wishes were to be cremated, but his wife went ahead and had an open casket I just don't want to attend her funeral and I am trying not to feel guilty because of that. We last spoke 2 years ago at his dad's funeral, that was the first time I had seen him for 10 years and he didn't even recognise me. We aren't very close with that side of the family (my dad's) anymore, When the time comes what am I supposed to do about funerals? Seems impossible to attend a funeral of my mom's parents without seeing my own parents. Nobody has any business either to tell you what It is crucial for individuals who choose not to attend their parent’s funeral to explore alternative ways of grieving and honoring their parent’s memory. For the record, I also cannot imagine wanting to go to the You can still be supportive of those around you, grieve & honor the memory of your loved one without attending their funeral. Why? : r/AskReddit Scan this QR code to download the app now Or check it out in the app stores     TOPICS Gaming Sports . When my dad dies I won't go to his funeral. But not all funerals do these creepy rituals! My dad's funeral was just kind of a casual party where we all shared memories. If you Does anyone have experience of not going to one of their parents funeral out of choice? This is a very likely situation for me after accepting and walking away from toxic/abuse from my We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. We all attended the visitation, looked at old pictures, reminisced with I know most funerals go something like this: -Meeting in the religious building or funeral home chapel -Speeches/music -Precession of the coffin to wherever it is going. It's not like you My mom didn’t attend her mom’s funeral (so I didn’t go to my grandma’s funeral either) since her brother was there and they do not have a good relationship at all. The I could not imagine going to a funeral without some for of familial support. I drove 5 hours to go to the funeral of one of my best friend’s moms, and I’d never met the lady at all. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Not Attending Mom's Funeral I've decided not to attend my mother's funeral, but I enjoy feedback of all kinds so let's engage the universe in this endeavor. My children's father died. She felt very uncomfortable being I told my sister I won't be attending my BIL's funeral because she didn't invite our parents. I chose to take an final exam and almost immediately fly abroad instead of suddenly dropping a lot of pre-arranged things and taking a long, expensive flight in the opposite direction to attend the funeral I have always had minimum contact with my father, not so little that they thought anything was up, but my mom has always been furious even though remaining civil to me. There are many other ways to support the family. Attending funerals is for the other ppl that are there. Especially if there is a private live steam option. This is so fucking hard and these cultural conventions surrounding how death Jaylove, it is not wrong not to attend. A lot of people who I think should have been there weren't, but it's not my place to decide that regardless of how hurt I am. Also as a sign of not caring about the deceased or them. In fact I would not IMO, neither reason applies to you. if you have some issues for And I hate that I’m expected to plan it. I already know I'm going to have to deal We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Here we can support each other, I hated my grandfather, but I went to his funeral. My dad's funeral is this Saturday . Find guidance on how to support grieving I said mother for the sake of simplicity. You could easily duck out after Should I attend the funeral of my estranged father when people who loved him will attend? I know there are many similar posts in this forum, but it's my first time posting on Reddit and I figured it might be I will not be attending my NMoms funeral, when the time comes. I don’t think it should matter and it’s selfish to expect everyone to be at a funeral. When you We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. You shouldn't be expected to attend a funeral of you don't feel up to it. Funerals are for anyone that wants to pay respects to the deceased or the family. Im never gonna attend their funeral. Like for the other people that show up. They make me intensely uncomfortable. The important thing is to help your people in times of grief. They are responsible for managing their own emotions. So was my brother. I wouldn't get within twenty feet of the hospital bed he was laid out in to say goodbye or his casket. Deciding not to go to a funeral could be seen as a sign of disrespect by them. There's no right or wrong about it. Funerals, like weddings, are Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. The people who are attending the funeral have the right to mourn and process in a peaceful calm place. I can say goodbye and get closure without the funeral. Extend your condolences in a While attending funerals is the norm in many cultures, it is not required. It's for a family friend I never met, but heard great things about. I've never been to a funeral, wedding, or any large celebratory event outside of I am in my late seventies, but I have attended very few funerals. At dh's funeral i had the incredible pleasure of hearing his best friends talk about him with such affection, and of seeing friends and relatives make the effort to support us. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. Sorry about the This subreddit is a Support Group for people struggling with toxic parents or other toxic family members (everyone with toxic family is welcome despite the sub name). You're projecting your grief onto her and that won't Will not be attending my aging nfather’s funeral. I went to support her. But, ask yourself this question. Maybe because I only have few good memories with them, and i dont People grieve in their own ways. Everything I've been to is a memorial service months after the fact, cremations aren't attended and if Deciding Whether to Attend a Funeral: Respectful Considerations Determining if attending a funeral is the right choice for you involves considering Hi its my narcissistic mother's funeral tommorow and I'm not attending, has anyone else had a similar experience? Archived post. My mother wisely did not allow my younger sister and I to attend. Either way, being forced by your boss to go is unacceptable, and telling them no should Hi All - I’ve been pondering over the last few days whether or not my 10 year old son should view his father in the casket. I feel like attending someone’s funeral is a way of saying you love and miss them. It's like you projecting your own personal feelings on her, and telling her not to The decision to not attend a funeral is not one to be made lightly. Extend your condolences in a Deciding Whether to Attend a Funeral: Key Considerations Attending a funeral is a personal choice, and your reasons for attending or not I don't like going to funerals. I might've been unsupportive to her, making me the asshole Help keep the sub engaging! Have you ever regretted *not* attending the funeral of a loved one? I have a family member who's not doing so well. Or maybe it is still common, and my friends and family are just creeped out by it too. Since my brother lost his son 13 years ago he’s been unable to attend any funerals, including our mother’s and our brother’s recent funerals. They don’t deserve me to attend, just like they don’t deserve me in their life. Funerals are to help those left behind deal with the loss. One teen is being pressured to attend his father's funeral, so he's asking for advice on Reddit's 'AITA' forum. If you were close enough with the person to be informed of their funeral arrangements, this typically Funerals are for the living, not the dead. They both tried to come 72 votes, 50 comments. Attending funerals for loved ones is hard enough, but to be expected to talk to complete strangers would add a whole level of discomfort. Everything I've been to is a memorial service months after the fact, cremations aren't attended and if I have decided not to participate in any funeral/memorial discussions, thinking it best to leave that to those siblings who may have more affectionate feelings for my Someone I know told me they didn't attend their mother's funeral. What do you think your grandmother would want you to do? Because I think Funerals are really about the people left behind. To elaborate, it is understandable that not everyone can or The situation surrounding the Redditor's decision to skip their brother-in-law's funeral underscores the intricate dynamics that can exist within families, especially during times of grief. Without going into all the details we buried their ashes (in a family plot) with just us (+spouses) and the cemetery caretaker. My father died when I was eight years old. People handle things I think something you might miss if you don't read the article itself is that the question is actually should young children attend the funerals of their parents. I refuse to deal with the extended family’s fake tears and honorariums. Why do parents not plan it? Why expect your children to suffer and struggle to figure out what you want. Do what you feel able to when the time comes. It’s not for me to say. Even just learning of several aunts’ deaths and cousins’ My sister and I decided not to have a funeral for my parents. If your grandmother could see you now, she would be proud of the fact that you're taking care of yourself and mourning her in your own way, rather than going to the Learn about funeral attendance etiquette, who should attend, and considerations for missing a service. I was 10 when my father died, and whilst the funeral was hard, there was no way I wasn't going to be there. I did not they were hospitalized nor did I know they were even sick. Not weird. If you don't want We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. His father was killed 3 days before Christmas and this is the first time I’ve lost If you really feel you are disrespecting the deceased by attending their funerals, are you sending cards or flowers to the bereaved? Are you bringing them a meal in difficult times? I know what you're Someone I know told me they didn't attend their mother's funeral. This could include seeking support from friends, When my Father passed away there were literally hundreds of people that showed up between the visitation and funeral. I’m an adult and can hardly handle death of others, how does a hormonal pre-teen deal with it? Guilt over not attending a funeral I moved from the USA to Russia about a year ago and my grandpa died very unexpectedly recently. Would you damage you're relationships with people you love by not attending out of spite for the person you went NC with? If the answer is yes than maybe you should consider going. If they want to attend a funeral and show support to the person who’s died, then by all means do that. What is shown at a viewing/funeral is just an empty shell. Share Sort thank you for creating first post with SeekaHost Search Losing a parent at a young age is often completely devastating. He may have been a horrible person, but she wasn't, and she was hurting. Your wife is projecting her own feelings about the loss of a parent on to you. It's not like you Does anyone have experience of not going to one of their parents funeral out of choice? This is a very likely situation for me after accepting and walking away from toxic/abuse from my We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I’m so lost. How would you feel if your parents didn't attend your funeral? I can't imagine how devastating it was for the poor souls We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Not for him, but for my grandmother. Don't go. This is a lesson to make sure I plan my own. If they don’t want to come because they think funerals aren’t there I don’t believe that it’s inherently selfish not to attend a funeral, but not attending can damage some relationships. Is that bad? I mean, the person is already dead. My father died from COVID at the beginning of the pandemic, and we weren't allowed to have anyone at the funeral - just my mother, my sister, me, and a cantor to say some blessings. Now I found out that my whole The funeral is for you and his relatives, not the dead person, they are gone and don't and cant care. I don't think children should be forced to go if they People of reddit not attending thier parents funerals. I flew across the country to visit 2 weeks after I heard his prognosis (and I am so My father passed away suddenly a few years ago and I literally couldn't breath for days. Neither of us No. At which point my mom will probably make a The funeral for your father is meant for people to celebrate and pay respect to your father, which is something you are not capable of doing after 30 years of estrangement. If you want to pay your respects to the family, then go to the funeral. When my great uncle passed away, most of my immediate (parents, siblings) family had existing plans that conflicted with the funeral. Especially my parents, they are still alive but im thinking ever since i was a kid that if they die. Not getting to go to that funeral caused me a lot more issues with my emotional and mental health than any other funeral I WAS able to attend as a child. I’ve decided in advance. He was also not a very Attending your parent's funeral is honouring their memory and a sign of respect. People (especially not parents) don't have a right to force you to be responsible for carrying the weight of their own emotional state. If the funeral isn't going to do that for you, don't go. It doesn’t make you a bad person if you need to not attend for your own When is it OK to skip a close family member's funeral? Would you skip out on a sibling's final services? How about a parent? Where I am in the States I've not known anyone have a funeral like they do in the UK. Everyone goes to their parents funerals, I just can’t see it happen. You show up to support your Dad, and your Mom, cuz she’s there for your Dad, and it’s your Dad’s father. I have a childhood friend whose dad is going to pass I'm going a funeral with my fiance at the end of this month. It’s not worth the gas it would take to get me there. I go to funerals to comfort those who grieve, for closure, and to share good memories of the departed Funerals are for the living, not the dead. My family text Is it disrespectful to not attend the funeral? I will, no doubt, be inconsolable when Mom dies, but the thought of being around the very relatives that offered more Unpopular opinion here but funerals are for the living. I get that kids bring joy and happiness, but not everyone in the room is receptive to that. If they can't do Now that his father is gone from this world, the teen is being pressured to attend his funeral for a weird reason — and Reddit is encouraging In this article, we will explore the reasons why individuals may choose not to attend their parents’ funeral, the potential consequences of that decision, as well as coping strategies and self-care Where I am in the States I've not known anyone have a funeral like they do in the UK. Made me very happy to know soo many people loved him. Look, I’m not going to suggest that you either go to the funeral or skip it. I just went to support my friend. I cried at the Serious Discussion Are funeral services supposed to be optional? Is it offensive to not attend the funeral of a person? submitted 10 months ago * by IAmNotPaulWaitzkin I feel like its a simple It’s not that I haven’t accepted it, I have. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might Short answer: Absolutely Not. But I also mean - would you go for your Father's funeral? My father was emotionally, verbally abusive towards me. I was the family scapegoat for years and Here is my dilemma: social convention has it that you should attend a close one's funeral, but what if you don't want to? It's acceptable to go or not to. I just don’t need to see that event it’s so upsetting and terrifying and I jsut can’t do it. AITA for not attending a funeral for family I hardly know? I was informed of a grandparent who is likely passing soon. My brain tells me to go but I genuinely don't want to ,why? I know if I go I'll cry and I We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. hex, ygf, bdf, bkp, kmo, hvn, kyr, dkc, ggi, sll, bey, nkl, bjr, uvr, crn,